Today is Christmas Day. Fantastic. A day to be merry. And there is a very good reason for it! God became man and so everything is possible. Even that we become like Him. No better day to laugh, then…
John knew what he had to do to get his little red car. His father told him to write a letter to Baby Jesus. He immediately obeyed. “Dear Jesus,” he started writing. “If I get a red car for Christmas, I won’t fight with my sister Christine for a year.” Then Johnnie thought, “Ahh. This is too hard! Christine is such a wimp; I can never, ever keep this promise.” So John threw away the letter and started again.
“Dear Jesus, if I get a little red car for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year.” But again… he had second thoughts… “That means spinach, broccoli and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep this promise.”
Then he had a brilliant idea. He went downstairs to the living room where his father had prepared a beautiful nativity scene. He grabbed the statue of the Virgin Mary, went into the kitchen, wrapped it carefully in newspapers and stuffed it into a grocery bag. He took the bag upstairs to his room, opened the closet and placed the package in the farthest, darkest corner.
He then closed the closet door, took a new sheet of paper and wrote, “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…” A brainy child for sure!
It was Christmas Eve. Somewhere up there in the North where it can be really cold! This little boy about six or seven was standing out in front of a shop window. He obviously came from a poor family; his clothes were flimsy, old and all patched up.
A young woman passing by saw the little boy and decided to do something good for Christmas. Christmas has this magic of making us ‘good’. She took the child by the hand, led him into the store and bought him new shoes and a complete suit of warm clothing.
When they were again in the street, the woman said to the child, “Now you can go home and have a very happy holiday.” The little boy however looked up at her and with beautiful inquisitive eyes, asked her, “Are you God, Madam?” To which she smiled and replied, “No son, I am just one of His children.”
The little boy was quick to answer back, “I knew you had to be some relation!” It is all in the family!
This is cool. A Jewish lady was stranded late one night at a resort that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk was adamant, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.”
The desk clerk stammered and then said tersely, “We do not admit Jews here”. The woman stiffened and said, “Let me tell you, young man, I have converted to your religion!”
Obviously the desk clerk was not very convinced. “Yes?! Let me give you a test. How was Jesus born?” The answer came out quickly, “He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.”
“Excellent. And then what happened?” The woman replied, “He was born in a manger.”
“Correct,” said the hotel clerk. “And why was he born in a manger?”
The woman retorted angrily, “Because a brainless daft guy like you in the hotel wouldn’t give a Jewish lady a room for the night!” The same story all over again. There was no room at the inn!
It is children that keep Christmas youthful… A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and he returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”
The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward!”
And another one. “Thanks for the electric guitar you gave me for Christmas,” little Chris said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. “It’s the best present I ever got.”
“That’s great,” said his uncle. “Do you know how to play it?” “Oh, I don’t play it,” the little fellow said. “My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night!” That’s a real practical gift! Any electrical guitars around?!
And for those who do not believe in all this religious stuff… An atheist complained to a Christian friend, “You Christians have your special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter and Nativity of Mary. But we atheists have no recognized national holidays. It’s unfair discrimination.”
His friend replied, “Why don’t you celebrate April first?” Gotcha!
Let us make God-made-man happy today by the sweet sound of our laughter! MERRY Christmas! This wonderful new baby brought so much joy to all of us!
(c) Fr. Pius Sammut, OCD. Permission is hereby granted for any non-commercial use, provided that the content is unaltered from its original state, if this copyright notice is included.