Christian Marriage Does Exist!
The book of Tobit speaks clearly. Marriages
are made in heaven.
The Jewish Rabbis even affirm that from the
very beginning of conception, God builds
every person in such a way that he has a
physical and emotional penchant towards the
specific woman He has in mind for him. And
naturally He does the same for a woman.
A noble lady went to Rabbi Josef Ben Kalafta
and asked him how long God took to create
the world. “Six days” he replied. “And what
has He been doing since then?” she retorted.
“He has been working on harmonizing the relationships
between a man and a woman. He makes men and
women meet for marriage.” “What?!” she said
with wide open eyes. “Is this God’s work?
A matchmaker?! That is very easy. Even I
am able to do that!” “May be it is easy for
you”, the Rabbi concluded, “but in God’s
eyes, it was easier to open the Red Sea than
to match successfully a couple for marriage!”
The lady wanted to prove the Rabbi wrong.
So she brought together a thousand slaves,
half of them men and half women, she placed
facing each other, she passed through the
middle and she decided who marries who: “you
marry this man and you marry this woman…”
Then she sent them home. Within a week, practically
all her servants were behind her door… a
number had a bandaged head, others had a
black eye, a guy came with a broken leg,
the other had a bitten ear… They all cried
out with the same complaint… they just could
not stand their partner.
The noble lady had to call Rabbi Josef and
admit: “There is no god like your God, and
no truth that resembles the Torah. What you
said, that only God can match, is just right
So the question arises, why do so many marriages
fail if God is behind a marriage? Because
it may happen the couple fails to realize
the wisdom and love behind the choice that
God made and so they do not put their heart
and mind in this endeavour. A wise man said
that marriage is to be built every day if
it is to remain whole and strong.
What does building every day mean? Concretely
it means building on forgiveness not on liking.
Marriage is the union of two forgivers. Marriage
is built on the cross and not on good manners.
They had just arrived home after the reception
that their children organised for them on
the occasion of their 50th wedding anniversary.
“I want to tell you something today, but
do not be offended!” the husband said. “What
is he coming up with?!” murmured the wife.
“Do you remember the first time I came to
your place and you prepared a plate of spaghetti
and I told you that spaghetti was my favourite
dish? The truth is I hate spaghetti! I did
not want to embarrass you and I have been
putting up with the spaghetti that I don’t
like for fifty years!” Stunned, the wife
replied, “You tell me now! I never liked
spaghetti either but I always cooked them
because of you…” replied the wife.
A good dose of humour in marriage helps
(c) Fr. Pius Sammut, OCD. Permission
granted for any non-commercial use,
that the content is unaltered from
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